Posted on May 8, 2018
Not exactly marvelous shenanigans
I’ve found myself drifting recently. If anything, my imagination has been developing dramatically. My eyes close and suddenly there are endless warps of color and fragmented ideas. While I have little understanding of what the nature of these visions are, the noticeable effect is certainly pleasant. My dreams are also more vibrant and somewhat lucid. Perhaps my mind is aiming to cope with the lack of stimulation, so it resorts to a heightened form of abstract thought. There isn’t an easy way to tell, so I’ll try and use it.
It has been far too long since my last written entry. To be honest, I’ve forgotten how nice it is to input my delusions into the machine. The action helps with some of the troubling notions that I’ve had recently. For the past few weeks, the concept of my shared animalistic nature has been a serious issue. My thoughts keep returning to my observed mortality and the various factors in which I exist. When I see my own reflection there is a particular fear that washes over me. While there are no issues with my general self image, my eyes show despair and my teeth remind me of a hunger that will only end with my death.
State of Mind
My interactions recently also cause some various levels of concern. While I am aware of my social discomfort, there have been alarming problems recently. To put it mildly, I’ve become a skittish mess. Not in the sense that I’m afraid of encounters or conversation, but in the aspect of being around other people. While I have no doubt that there are others who share my interests, the possible chance of finding said individuals within my current environment are slim at best. It would be like finding a One Direction fan at a thrash metal concert.
So far, I can state that I’m doing okay. The troubles that plague me are minimal distractions at the most, so that helps. It doesn’t take much to picture a worse environment or more difficult situations. While I could be happier (or with a woman), I’ve got no right to complain. I still feel that I can remain optimistic. If anything, my quality of life will improve if I can continuously work on self improvement. As advancements are made in a variety of fields, the aspects of expected lifestyles will alter rapidly. My reasoning for that is the intelligence boost that will occur over the next few decades as a result of the “Internet Age”. As those born in the 1990’s and forward grow into maturity, the expected general intellect will begin to rise. Having access to answers almost instantly from a young age alters the chance for expected levels to grow to unseen heights.
I’ve had considerable time to think about the different goals in which my generation aspire toward. The ease in which most of my lot attain items or products of automated manufacturing is completely lost on me. Items like coffee and spices, once difficult to constantly obtain, are in abundance. I’m hard pressed to not consider myself a fan of the times. I’m in a decent environment and my situation is generally comfortable. For how long that will remain is up to unknown forces that rely on global trade and services.
There are a multitude of questions that I have about life. Most, if not all, only seem to cause more issues. Any answers given only rely on expectation of majority belief. That isn’t my favorite aspect of asking for additional information, but the only option at times is to drop the subject. The idea or notion of clarity is difficult when most of my requests rely on shared faith in recorded ideas. I can’t help but be skeptical with my questioning nature. To rely on blind acceptance only leads to docile compliance without reason.
How one chooses to spend their day is important. When faced with a variety of options, most tend to focus on desire. Shifting rapidly, those with a tailored interest decide how to best occupy the bulk of their day. Some focus on sleep more than others, yet we are motivated by some primary urge to do something more with our given time. What that something is relies on personal goals and the thoughts of the individual in question. Society revolves around those choices. An impact derives from these choices.
Some find immense difficulty in meaning. Discovering a purpose for one’s direction in life challenges most who lack a sense of direction. Shared experience isn’t a completely encompassing aspect of life. The struggle of options given rely on factors that are both in your control and those which are not. Finding peers to relate to can pose significant questions about the concept of equality. When viewing humanity as a whole an obvious flaw is exposed. Fairness isn’t guaranteed. Reality is harsh and unforgiving, even with the amazing advancements made over the last century.
Where do we go from here?
Less than five percent of the human race are needed to feed the ludicrous size of our growing global population. That change dramatically alters the expected time spent alive as members of the human race. Many deem it unimportant to view humans as animals, but that logic only further separates our collective understanding of biological life. We choose to view ourselves as better than the other species that we live among. How we’ve managed to get this far as a species is difficult to come to terms with. Humans are not in any way, shape, or form greater than other animals that reside on this planet. We simply have the largest numbers. For how long that remains is up to factors that we can and cannot control. If we expect any form of continuous progress, there will need to be some serious cutbacks soon.